Candles
by arctique48
Summary: As a child she dreamt of white horses. The battle has begun and Mr Granger would do anything to give his daughter her fairytale ending. Drabble.


**Disclaimer: Hogwarts etc. belongs to JKR.

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Candles, floating, enveloping the room in a warm yet detached glow. Like stars, too high up to focus on.

"This is the Great Hall. I'm going to have to leave you here… Please. Don't try to go anywhere else and if anything happens, follow the children. There's a tunnel behind that tapestry. _Do not turn off at any point,_ do you understand?"

You nod. She looks so worried. Like a parent leaving a child. She's grown so much.

"Good." A brief hug. A kiss. A farewell. "I promise I'll come back."

The walls are dark stone, warm. Almost church like – a cathedral with its gothic arches and high (sky high with arcs of the mountains and clouds to hold it up) ceiling. The ceiling speaks of darkness, of wind and screaming trees while the clouds obscure the moon.

Magical. Magical and awe-inspiring is what this place is.

"Hermione." A soft, well-meaning voice. "We don't have much time. Look, you know he'll be safe here."

"I know… I just." A sigh. She turns back. "Good bye."

Empty. And warm. The floor is wooden and tables match. The tables lie empty as the heart of the building. It mourns, every candle for every life that passed through the walls. A candle for every life. For every death.

She's gone. The only one you have left now. The one who bought you here. The one who bought this upon you. The only one you will not allow yourself to blame.

"She'll be fine."

"I know."

Dust clings to the velvet hangings behind the highest table of them all. Dust and memory. They're black still. Black as the day the students left for good. Black as the day Hogwarts mourned its greatest Headmaster, keeper and mentor. It mourns still. But not for him.

_"Harry's leaving."_

_A pause and you wait for her to continue. You know it won't end there._

_"And I'm going with him. Me and Ron. Dad… I'm not sure if we'll make it back."_

_Silence and blank tears._

_She'd always wanted to save the world._

Stumbling towards the far wall. Ornate torches hanging cold. All light comes from the candles. From the grief and the remembrance.

_"I won't ever forget."_

_"I know, Love." A sniff. A silent plead. A refusal. "I think I might even understand."_

_"I love you, Dad."_

_"I love you too. And don't you forget it."_

_An absence. A piece of life taken._

_Your whisper to an empty room, "I'll miss you."_

_No reply._

Huge windows. Glazed with glass from a time when glass didn't even exist in your world.

_"There's so many things that are different! The staircases move! The paintings talk! There are ghosts that help you get to lessons and owls that fly around delivering messages. And magic… There is so much magic and age, you wouldn't even understand without being here. You have to see it!"_

Glass twists your vision, old panes warping sight. From here the night lies still. Still and dark as the lake, as though life were at a standstill. As though lives were not ending and blood was not spilling and staining and soaking into grass and concrete and stone so many miles away. So many miles away and you don't even know where.

Your little girl could be dying and you don't even know where.

_"Daddy?" Bright eyes and bright grin. You know she wants something. "Can I learn to ride a horse?"_

_"A horse?" Surprise. She's never showed an interest in riding before._

_"Yes. A white one with a flowing silver mane." She smiles, beams with anticipation and childish delight._

_"Where did you hear that from?" Amused scepticism mixed with affection. She was a lovely child._

_"Please, Daddy! Caroline is having lessons and I'm reading the best book about a princess and…" She chatters on, brandishing her book, smiling all the while._

_She will have her horse riding. You would give her everything if you had the power. You would give her her fairytale ending._

You would have. You would have moved Heaven and Earth to make it better for her. You would have gone out and bought a submachine gun and ripped her Dark Lord to shreds were it possible. You would have made him bleed if it meant your little girl were safe.

_"I saw him die, Dad. I was holding him as his eyes closed. He told me he was sorry for everything. He didn't even know who I was but he apologised for everything he had done._

_"'I don't want to die.' That's what he said to me. 'I don't want to die alone.'_

_"I told him he wasn't. I told him I'd stay with him until the pain went away. He clutched at my hand and just kept whispering 'I'm sorry'." She's crying now. You watch and listen and know she has so many reasons for tears. She bears it far better than you ever would._

_"How could I not forgive him? Even after all he's done he's no more or less than I am. He's just a kid, still. And he was dieing and he knew it. And it was just too sad. I don't care what Ron says. Malfoy is forgiven and I did the right thing staying with him. No one deserves that. No one deserves to bleed to death alone."_

And she was so right. And it made you so proud. Because you never met Draco Malfoy. You never knew any more than what she'd tell you in outraged letters and despairing rants about how her friends never failed to rise to his bait. You knew nothing but that he caused the death of someone she cared about and that he hated her for her blood. You knew that she hated him and it was enough for you to hate him too. And then he died and she comforted him and made it so he wasn't afraid and you had never been so proud. (Never been so heartbroken.)

You were never sure when it happened, when your daughter became so removed from you. Of course you realised it would happen. The moment the letter was proven true you understood that you'd never have that same bond again. Because she was truly different from you. She was your own flesh and blood and yet you'd never be the same again. And she was better than you. She proved that that night. She proved that she had morals and kindness and a sense of human understanding that you don't think you could ever possess.

You had never met him, and yet were you to be the one watching Draco Malfoy die you would have allowed him his pain, you would have left him choking on his own blood for all the tears he cost your loved one.

_"Dad, you're going to have to come with me. Please. I'm so sorry… I- They. They're coming here. The whole town. They're going to burn it to the ground."_

_A question. Horror._

_"I'm sorry." Tears. "I don't have the strength or means to bring anyone other than you… I don't think anyone else will make it out… It's coming. They're coming. The Final Battle. We've destroyed all Horcruxes but the final one. This is Harry's hour and I have to go with him… But I can't leave you here… We're going to Hogwarts. You'll be safe there. I promise." Stumbled and breaking but she gets it out. "I did everything I could…" A sob. "You know I did. I couldn't save Mum and I'm not willing to lose you. Please. You'll be safe." Sniff. "You won't be alone. It's a safe house. The only one left. They won't find you." Soft. Broken. "I promise."_

She's seen too much. The death of her mother, your wife. The death of her friend. The death of her enemy. She stayed with you two days before the funeral. She slept little and saw nothing but their faces. She cried in her sleep and it was all you could do not to cry with her. She's lost so much to a war you weren't even aware of until it took your beloved. She's lost so much and you tell yourself it's her you cry for.

There is movement and sound all around you. Movement and sound but no adults. No bearers of magic – they've all gone. Off to save the world alongside a group no more than children. Children drift into the room, perching on tables with older brothers and sisters. They whisper but do not notice you. Alone and it defines you.

"I've seen Harry Potter, you know. Back when Hogwarts was a school. I saw him play Quidditch." You hear one whisper. "He's the one who'll save us all."

"How do you know?"

"Because if he doesn't we'll all die. Because he has to…"

And they're only children and children should not ever talk like that. He's only a child and yet the fate of this entire room, the entire world, rests on the shoulders of his success.

You've met Harry Potter too. You thought he was a nice boy with a pleasant smile. He had a sad story and you hoped he'd do well in life. Now you hope he doesn't die. You hope he'll save your daughter and her entire world. You hope he'll stop the grief.

_You went with her to this one. A funeral of someone she knew. Arthur Weasley. He'd bought you drinks in that small wizarding pub, the Leakey Cauldron. He let her visit every summer to see the friends she relied on more than her own family. He was a nice man with a fascination with electric plugs._

_He died protecting the life of his daughter._

_You stood behind Hermione and watched them lower the coffin. You stood and you prayed to one day have the ability to do that._

But you didn't. And you never will. Never have the ability to save her, to protect her from the things she fears.

You used to sit on her bed when she was a child and hug her until her sobbing stopped. You'd scare away her nightmares and close her wardrobe door to keep the monsters away. You were the one to drive her to the hospital when she broke her collarbone falling from that horse with the silver mane. You spoon-fed her ice cream when she had tonsillitis.

Now you're sat under the window in the tallest and most incredible room you've ever seen. You're sitting in the only place you know she'll ever really consider home anymore, and it makes you sad. Because she's your little girl. You'd do anything to make her pain go away and yet there is nothing within your power that will even begin to help her.

Tonight she's out fighting for her life and you don't even know where.

You'd go and buy your submachine gun and punch 'Lord Voldemort' full of holes until he suffered for every hurt he'd ever caused your daughter. You'd march right onto that battlefield and get sliced to ribbons if it would help her… And that's the most painful thing. The fact that it won't. And nothing you ever do will. Because she's grown away from you. So far away that she might die tonight and the children, scattering this 'safe house' she risked her life to get you to, will know before you.

It breaks your heart, but you don't know her anymore. You're both parts of each other's lives and yet when you asked her to stay with you she shook her head, all sad eyed and teary, and told you her place was with Harry and Ron.

_"It's my duty. It's the only place I'd allow myself to be right now. I can't leave them, they need me."_

But you need her too. You need her but it won't ever be enough.

_"It's the last chance we're going to get. To save the wizarding world. I'd die if it would make it stop, this war, Voldemort. Look around you. Those children are orphaned, their parents died trying to make the world better for them. Their parents died trying to do what my friends and me have the power to. We can make it safe for them and a million other people. If he won he'd kill you, Dad, he'd kill you and everyone like you. You've got to let me make him go away. Please, try to understand. You have to let me go."_

You let her go. You watched her leave and now you cry with pride and fear for her bravery, for the life she leads so distant from your own.

You hug yourself, watching the candles flicker in the ancient panes of the castle's windows. The wind roars outside and you hear it from your vacuum. Candles flicker against the clouds, stars studding black anticipation. You stare forward and hope and pray and wish with desperation unrivalled that she'll make it back.

You cannot save her. Without her you won't even be able to save yourself.

_"I love you, Daddy."

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